Albus Severus and the Pyramids of Furmat
by The Impossible Slashtronaut
Summary: Twelve-year-old Albus Severus Potter's first year at Hogwarts is going fantastically, but when something life-shattering happens, nowhere is safe. ON INDEFINITE HIATUS UNTIL THE PLOT BUNNIES COOPERATE. Started in 2007, ongoing whenever I feel like it.
1. A New Beginning

**Author's Note: Well, this is it. The beginning of a new era of ASPOF. Originally posted on LiveJournal in the late summer of 2007, my first fanfiction holds a special place in my heart, no matter how Mary Sue-tastic it is or was. And yes, I am still writing it. Harry Potter is property of Warner Bros. and Scholastic. **

Albus Severus Potter was sitting on the Hogwarts Express, next to his brother James, who already started Hogwarts a year before. Albus had reddish-black hair in the same style as his father- messy, short, and very dark. He had his father's eyes, which had been his father's mother, Lily's eyes. Albus had a similar facial structure to his father, albeit without the famous lightning-bolt shaped scar that his father had. James was 12, and he already was known throughout the school as a little troublemaker, though he was excellent on the Quidditch field, and he was made the Gryffindor Keeper a few weeks before term started. James had the same ginger hair as his mother, Ginny. He had a very similar face, too.

"Hey, Albi. I think I know which House you're going to be in." said James to Albus in an excited tone. "

Which one?" asked Albus.

"Hufflepuff! Ha-ha!" laughed James.

"I AM NOT GOING TO BE IN HUFFLEPUFF, JAMES POTTER!" screamed Albus, as he drew his phoenix-elder wand and pointed it at his brother.

"It was just a joke, Albi. I'm sure you'll be in Gryffindor with me!" whimpered James, who was being pushed to the floor of the compartment by his brother.

"Still, that was really MEAN of you, James! SECTUMSEMPRA ADAMA!" shrieked Albus, and a purplish glow erupted from his wand, hitting James' ribcage with a thud, and one of James' ribs was suddenly broken.

"Oh no, what have I done?" cried Albus, alarmed at his own stupidity. Now his 12-year old brother was lying sprawled on the compartment floor with a broken rib, crying loudly.

"Episkey Maximus!" said Albus, and James was fully healed, with his rib back to normal.

Rose and Hugo Weasley ran into the compartment, and they looked down to see the two brothers on the floor, James somewhat dazed. Rose looked very much like her mother, Hermione; Hugo, his father, Ron.

"What happened? We watched the whole thing!" said Rose and Hugo simultaneously.

"I can explain," said Albus quietly, and Rose, Hugo, and the somewhat-conscious James looked at Albus, ready to listen.

"Well, it all started with the choice of spell, really. A few weeks ago I saw Scorpius-"

"Scorpius? As in Scorpius Malfoy?" asked an incredulous Hugo.

"Yes, that Scorpius, I saw him in an alley near our house, and he told me he knew a spell that I could use on James in case he ever hurt my feelings really badly. So, he taught it to me, and I practiced it on some squirrels with his wand- he got it for his 11th birthday three months ago. It looked like it worked, so when James hurt my feelings a few minutes ago, I used it on him. I never knew how bad that spell really was. I'm so sorry," finished Albus.

"We all understand. Let's hope Scorpius never teaches you any more Dark magic anymore!" said Rose. James and Hugo both nodded in approval. Rose and Hugo left the compartment, leaving Albus and James alone.

"I'm so sorry I got you into this mess," said James.

"Let's forget this ever happened, OK?" Albus asked.

"OK...Hey, Albi, we're almost there!" Albus rushed to the window and saw a huge castle, with towers, spires, and everything a castle should be.

"That's Hogwarts?" asked Albus.

"Yup," said James, and with a smile on his tear-streamed face, he got up and left the compartment, Albus following suit.


	2. The Hat's Decision

The Great Hall was exactly as Albus had imagined it: huge, and homey, with candles floating ghost-like above the tables where the four houses sat. James was already sitting at his table with his fellow Gryffindors.

Albus and his fellow first-years waited in a line, as Deputy Headmaster and head of Gryffindor Professor Leon Strellestin put a stool and a withered old hat resting on top of the stool on the floor in front of the first years. Albus was standing next to Scorpius, who was smirking, and Hugo and Rose, looking nervous. Professor Strellestin started to speak, his voice young and strong. He looked a lot like a lion, with a deep golden mane of hair, and a rugged, tough body. His wand appeared to be made of pinewood.

"Hello, and welcome to another year at Hogwarts! I am Professor Strellestin, as most of you know, and I am proud to present the Sorting Hat!" Everybody cheered as the Hat began to sing:

I may look like I'm withered

I may look old and gray

But when you put me on your head

To a House you'll go to stay.

If you are brave and courageous

Gryffindor's your place,

If you prefer brains over brawns,

To Ravenclaw you'll race.

The quiet, loyal, sincere folk

Are due for Hufflepuff,

And if your wits and power prove,

Slytherin's got your kind of stuff.

So place me on your noggin

And I'll ponder for a bit,

And send you off to make new friends-

No wonder I'm a hit!

"Now, all the first years will be called up and be sorted. Bressley, Polaris!" A blue-eyed, brunette girl walked up and put the hat on her head.

"It's Polly," she said matter-of-factly.

"Hmmm...Gryffindor!" Polly walked off to the Gryffindor table and sat down. Albus looked at her closely; she was very pretty, even beautiful by Albus' standards. Her brown ringlets bounced as she walked to the table, and her azure eyes seemed to call out to him. But Albus tried to pay more attention to Strellestin calling names.

"Bunderbar, Samuel!" Samuel was sorted into Hufflepuff. A couple minutes passed and soon it was Scorpius's turn.

"Hmm...I remember when your father was sorted," said the Sorting Hat.

"Really? Wow!" whispered Scorpius. "You seem a bit... different from your father. Much nicer, not as vain and arrogant. You seem like you would make a great...Gryffindor!"

Albus, Rose, Hugo, and James' jaws dropped. "A Malfoy...in GRYFFINDOR?" mouthed James to Albus. "I know...weird. What the heck?" mouthed Albus back to his brother.

"Potter, Albus!" It was his turn at last. He put the hat firmly on his head.

"Aahhh... another Potter. My fourth, to be exact. Your father was quite the remarkable student. He was in Gryffindor. You, however, are quite the same as your father. You share his looks and his smarts. Your father struck me as a Slytherin, but he ended up in Gryffindor. You seem to be a Gryffindor type. Yet...you also struck me as a Slytherin, just like your dad. What do you say?" said the Sorting Hat.

"I want to be with my friends in Gryffindor, but why is Scorpius a Gryffindor?" asked Albus quietly.

"He just struck me as a nice person, not one who fights for power, but fights for a good cause. So, my young lad, you are in... GRYFFINDOR!" Everybody cheered, even Scorpius. Maybe Scorpius could be nice after all.

Rose and Hugo both got into Gryffindor, and then the whole school quieted down as the headmaster, Professor Pyraeus Byrndrom, stood up to speak. He looked like a younger Dumbledore, but with long, silvery-blond hair and a long beard. He wore half-moon glasses and wore a robe with blue crystals embedded into the fabric. He had a kind voice that was loud and powerful.

"I welcome all of you to a new term at our fine school. This year, I'd like to introduce our newest teacher. Her name is Celandine D'Oracle, and she will be teaching Astronomy. I welcome her."

As Byrndrom said this, a sinister-looking woman stood up and waved. Her nails were sharp and painted a deep purple-maroon color. She had long black hair with green highlights and she wore deep maroon robes. She was wearing a green leaf-shaped amulet on her neck. Her eyes were a piercing brown-red color.

"Hello, Hogwarts. It is very nice to meet you all," she snarled. Her voice was sinister as well, going very well with her looks.

"Now, back to what I was saying. After our feast, we will go to our dormitories, where you will find all your things have been put away. Enjoy the feast! And I leave you with these words: Draco Dormiens Nunquam Tittilandus-never tickle a sleeping dragon!" said a smiling Byrndrom, and with that, the food appeared on all the tables. There was fish, chicken, any food you could eat. As Albus munched on a chicken leg and chatted with Rose and Hugo, a ghostly head popped up from a bowl of mashed potatoes.

"Oh, hello, Bodiless Nick," said James, looking at the ghost. Once he was nearly headless, but his ghostly body fell off one day 7 years before. Now he was just a head with no neck or body.

"It's Sir Nicholas De-Mimsy Porpington, my friends. I'm the ghost of Gryffindor!" and as he said this, he flew off to talk with the Grey Lady, still as pretty as she was 19 years ago, when Albus's dad, aunt and uncle went looking for Horcruxes.


	3. Astronomy

The next morning, Albus, Rose, Hugo, James and a new Gryffindor friend Albus made the night before named David Boot started classes. Unfortunately, the first class was double Astronomy with Professor D'Oracle, and it was at 3 in the morning. David's father was Terry Boot, a student who was acquainted with Albus's father 19 years ago. David had dark blond hair, a long nose, and big grey eyes. Once they got to class, Prof. D'Oracle seated them, and sitting right next to Albus was a smirking Scorpius Malfoy, combing his hair with his wand. On Albus' other side was Polaris – no, Polly – Bressley, hair still the same as the night before, but her eyes seemed different. Perhaps she was a Metamorphmagus...

"Sit, sit, sit!" screeched Prof. D'Oracle. Today she was wearing a silvery-green robe, and a ruby eye-shaped pendant. Her nails were still the deep maroon color from the feast, as was her green-tinged hair.

"Now, when I call you up, take a telescope and climb up the staircase to the roof of the tower, and use the telescope to find Jupiter. It is surprisingly scarlet today, the color of blood..." she snapped, muttering the last bits under her breath.

"David!" David scuttled up to grab a telescope, all of which were a deep brassy color. He climbed up the stair and was soon on the roof.

"Polly!" Polly followed David to the top of the tower. A dozen more names were called, including Scorpius, then the remaining students, Albus, Rose, Hugo, James, and some myriad Ravenclaws were left, including James' Muggle-born friend Zane Walker. There were no telescopes left.

"Oh, there's no more telescopes. That's too bloody bad. I guess next class we will call names backwards alphabetically. Now, what will you be doing for this class, seeing how there are no telescopes left?" asked D'Oracle, looking menacingly at the children.

Albus looked at his watch. "Prof. D'Oracle, I think class is over already," said Albus meekly. Suddenly all the students rushed out of the room, from the roof, leaving Celandine trampled and tousled on the floor.

"Crap! My plan didn't work! Ah, well, next class they'll see how the bite of death has been nibbling away at their mortal souls!" muttered D'Oracle, after everyone left the room to go to their next class.

James walked in front of his fellow Gryffindors on the way to Potions with Prof. Slughorn, who had been teaching merrily in the dungeons since his father's 6th year. "C'mon, guys, we don't want to be late." The students were talking amongst themselves, until a sudden halt from James right in front of the door to Potions had the students stand still.

"Guys, I don't think you want to see this," said James, looking down at the ground, shocked.


	4. Dirty Little Secret

**I deeply regret the killing-off of a rather awesome character in this chapter. Oh well, at least the Grindeldore plot point in this chapter still makes me giggle.**

The body of Horace Slughorn lay bloodied and silent on the floor of the dungeon, eyes closed, mouth lolling open, and several deep, bleeding gashes the size of teacups were covering his large, roly-poly torso.

"I guess this means we're not having Potions today...or tomorrow...or the day after," whispered Hugo Weasley, who was standing behind James with Albus and Rose.

"You're right, Hugo. All of us should head up to the common room. Albi, go and tell Byrndrom what happened!" Albus nodded, and as his fellow classmates rushed away from the lifeless, walrus-like man, he stooped down and sniffed the air like a scenthound. He smelled something that vaguely reminded him of nail polish and metal. He got up, looked at the body of the kindly Slytherin teacher, and scurried away to tell the head of Hogwarts.

Albus wandered the halls until he found himself face-to-face with a statue of a gleeful-looking wizard with long hair and a beard tied with a hairtie.

"So this is the Dumbledore my dad tells me about," thought Albus, and he pressed a button on the side of the statue, which was decorated with a symbol of triangle with a circle inside and a line down the middle. Albus looked rather perplexed as he saw the markings, but he only had a brief moment for thought, when the statue sprung to life.

"You wish to see the Headmaster?" asked the statue. Albus replied with a small "yes," and with that, the statue moved to the side to let Al pass.

"You may proceed, as long as you fight for what is right, and your heart is as pure as phoenix song." Albus climbed the staircase up to the headmaster's office. When he walked in, the decorations surprised him. A Gay Pride banner was strung up, and he could see the Headmaster kneeling next to a picture of two men, one with a long auburn beard and half-moon spectacles, another with curly blond locks and a witty look about him.

"Professor Byrndrom?"

"Oh!" Pyraeus turned toward Albus, blushing.

"Who are those people?" asked Albus.

"Oh...these guys? OK...I'll tell you, but please, DON'T TELL ANYONE. Except your father. And maybe your brother."

Albus nodded, and they sat down.

"It all started back in 1899, when Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore and Gellert Thorlund Grindelwald were having their so-called "Summer of Love." They decided to have a child. That child was me, Pyraeus Grindeldore."

"So basically, you're the illicit love child of Dumbledore and Grindelwald?"

"Yes, Albus Severus. Exactly. So, when I was about 2, they abandoned me at a wizarding orphanage. I was eventually adopted by a rather wealthy family, the Byrndroms. They were told I was gay by the orphanage owner, so my room at our house was decorated with a Gay Pride theme. When I was finally sent to Hogwarts, me and my Shadow Yew/Thestral-Tail wand were sorted into Hufflepuff. Now look at me, the headmaster of the greatest wizarding school in the world! What a life story!"

Albus Severus nodded, and turned to leave, but remembered why he had came in the first place.

"Did you hear about the death downstairs?"

"Oh, yes. Poor Horace Ezekial Slughorn. He lived a good 92 years."

"Do you have any idea about who killed him, Professor?"

"I believe there may be one person."

"Who, Professor?"

"You know Dolores Umbridge?"

"Yeah, my dad tells me stories about her when I'm at home. She seems like she could be the daughter of Moldy Voldy!"

"Yes, that old hag. She had a child with a descendant of Vlad the Impaler, you know who that is, right?"

"He was a vampire known as Dracul, right?"

"Yes. So I believe that their daughter, Celedra Dorick?... no... is it Celine Dion?...no... oh, what's her name? I keep forgetting! Alas, she's on the Ministry's Most Wanted list. That is all. Now go to class, Albus. You have Herbology with Professor Longbottom next!"

"Thanks, Professor!"

Albus ran as fast as his legs could take him, and he realized that he should definitely write to his dad about this.


	5. The MagusHerbological Society

**This is the chapter that really introduces the Mary Sue herself, Miss Polaris 'Polly' Bressley, into the picture. Here, we are treated to some awesome Neville action and some awkward 12-year-old romance.**

Neville Longbottom had been teaching Herbology ever since Professor Sprout, who had been teaching well over 20 years, had died. His passion for herbology showed: wherever he went, his favorite mimbulus mimbletonia plant came with him.

As Albus rushed into the greenhouse, he was greeted with enthusiasm by Professor Longbottom.

"Albus Severus Potter! At last I have you in my class! Come in, come in!" Neville led Albus to his seat, which was next to Polly and Hugo. Each desk had a textbook on top, titled The Wizarding World Encyclopaedia of Magical Flora. Each book had a small yellow sticker with flashing red letters saying _Approved by the Magus-Herbology Society of Great Britain_ on it.

Neville turned off the lights in the room with a simple _Nox_, and projected an image onto a screen using his wand as a projector.

"Now, class, can anyone tell me who this gentleman is?" A mustachioed man wearing Victorian-styled clothing was on the screen. He had a playful glint in his eyes, and he was holding a potted plant. Rose raised her hand.

"Yes, Miss Weasley?"

"That would be Miles Mimbleton, famous magus-herbologist and founder of the Magus-Herbological Society of Great Britain, Professor."

"Correct. Miles Mimbleton was the most famous magus-herbologist of the 1800's. He was known for discovering two rare species of magical flora. Can anyone tell me what they are?" Neville paused and called on Polly.

"They were the mimbulus mimbletonia, of course, and the Shadow Yew." Albus remembered something about the Shadow Yew from earlier that day, but he couldn't remember exactly.

"Now, class," said Neville, "this is my most prized possesion, aside from the head of the Dark Lord's snake that I stuffed and mounted on my wall. This is my mimbulus mimbletonia, or Assyrian Spitting Cactus. I've nicknamed him Miles, for obvious reasons." The class oohed and aahed. Scorpius, who had been silent the whole class finally piped up.

"Who gives a shit about this dumb society, anyway?" Scorpius yawned and flipped the middle finger at Neville.

"SHUT THE HELL UP, SCORPIUS MALFOY!" shouted Polly, who usually was quiet during classes.

"SILENCE!" bellowed a hurt Neville. "CLASS DISMISSED. I've left your assignment inside your desks." Neville slumped in his chair and began stroking Miles. Albus, whose face was full of shock after seeing his friend swear like that, grabbed the piece of parchment out of his desk. It read:

_YOUR HERBOLOGY HOMEWORK:_

_Read this and take notes._

_A page from The Wizarding World Encyclopaedia of Magical Flora, Approved by the Magus-Herbological Society of Great Britain:_

_Mimbulus Mimbletonia, or Assyrian Spewing Cactus_

_MHSGB Rating: XX_

_This once rather rare plant was discovered in Assyria by Miles Mimbleton in 1820. Known as the Assyrian Spewing Cactus in some parts of the world, it is a cross between the common cactus and another Mimbleton species, the incredibly powerful wandwood tree, the Shadow Yew. It is a common house plant nowadays, especially in the London area. It has a rating of XX because its stinksap is rather revolting._

Albus ran out of the classroom and caught up with Polly, whose face was full of tears. He gave her a comforting hug.

"You were really brave, Polly. I would NEVER have the courage to do that."

"You really think so? Well, thanks." She moved closer to him.

"I've never met a girl like you."

"I bet you've really never met a girl, period." She was nearly nose-to-nose with him.

Albus and Polly laughed, and suddenly their lips met.

Scorpius was walking past them when he saw them snogging in the hallway. "Hey, everybody, Albus Potter's snogging Polly Bressley! And they're only FIRST YEARS! Aww...how cute!" announced Scorpius. The people in the hallway all turned to the snogging almost-12-year-olds. To Albus, this kiss was the most amazing thing he ever felt. To Polly, nothing mattered in the world but this boy, this son of a hero. To Scorpius, it was the most revolting thing he'd seen since his dad lost all his hair.


	6. Letters, Laughter, and Lunatics

**Aah, yes, yes! This chapter is the one that introduces my favorite OC, Thaddeus T. Wigglesworth. His origin story is rather funny: he was based off an Egyptian entertainer who visited my school in early 8th grade, and named after a name I saw on the wall of benefactors to the Museum of Science in Boston. Enjoy, and enjoy the gayness that is Wigglesworth.**

The next morning, Albus received a letter in the mail from his parents.

_Dear Al,_

_I hope you're doing well! I heard you were sorted into Gryffindor; that's fantastic! Lily misses you a whole lot, and your mum has been in a tizzy over what to send you as a little gift. We decided on a book that you might need for classes. It's called __**The Wizard's Guide to Magical Ritual Objects.**_

_See you during holiday break!_

_Love, _

_Dad, Mum, Lily, and Remus_

As Albus finished his letter from his mum, dad, sister, and dog, former Ravenclaw head boy Thaddeus T. Wigglesworth had an announcement made at breakfast.

"I got my G.A.D. so now I'll be teaching!"

"But doesn't G.A.D. mean Generalizing Anxiety Disorder?" asked Assistant Deputy Head Teddy Lupin, who was sitting nearby with his girlfriend, Victoire Weasley.

"I meant G.E.D., Teddy! I'm teaching a new class called Ancient Wizarding Ritual Objects, as well as Gryffindor Study Hall. So all Gryffindors, I'm proud to be your new teacher!"

Albus, who was sitting next to Polly and Hugo at the house table, looked over at Professor Wigglesworth. He was tall, and wore shabby, light-colored robes. His hair was slightly greyed, and a buzuq was hung around his neck on a strap.

Meanwhile, at the teachers' table, Professor Byrndrom was eating a meat pie and pleasantly laughing.

"Miss D'Oracle, you are a fine cook! This meat is splendid! Where did you get it? Is it kobe beef, perhaps?"

"It's my special blend, Professor. I call it "Slug's Flesh Pie," said Celandine with a wicked cackle. Leon Strellestin and Neville heard over this conversation and looked a bit nervous.

"You hear that? She said that it was called 'Slug's Flesh Pie!'"

"Yeah. Sounds awful suspicious. Either she killed Sluggy, or he died of moonpox. Speaking of Sluggy, where are his remains?"

"Headmaster Byrndrom gave Celandine permission to cremate his remains."

As the teachers bickered, Thaddeus wandered over to the Gryffindor table and sat next to Albus.

"Hello, lad! I am Thaddeus T. Wigglesworth, your new teacher. And who might you be?" he asked quizzically.

"I'm Albus Potter, sir. Al or Albi for short."

"You're THE Albus Potter? Well string my buzuq and call me a werewolf! You're the Chosen One's kid!"

Albus blushed. He never received this much praise, even from his mum and dad.

"Our class begins later today. I hope our year together starts off with a BANG!"

As his new teacher walked back to the teacher table, Scorpius nudged Albi.

"Hey, Al. Sorry about what happened back at Herbology yesterday. I was really bored. I guess Herbology won't be my best subject, huh?" Albus nodded, and Scorpius laughed heartily. "Great job with Polly yesterday. She'll make a great first girlfriend." Albus blushed. "Anyway...our new teacher seems a bit, er, lunatic, doesn't he?" continued Scorpius.

"No, not really. Except maybe the buzuq is a bit odd," said Albus.

"And that bottle of wolfsbane he carries around with him," added Scorpius.

Albus looked at Wigglesworth. He didn't notice until now that Thaddeus was carrying a flask of dark green, pasty-looking liquid that he supposed was wolfsbane.

James, who was sitting across from them, butted in.

"Y'know, Albi, this Wigglesworth guy does look like Ted's dad," he said, "except he's not as... lupine."

"What?"

"Oh, Dad must of never told you. Teddy's dad was a werewolf."


	7. House Elves and a Tragic Hero

**This chapter is particularly AU. I decided that Snape was too awesome of a character to have killed off. So I brought him back in the crackiest, most impossibly un-canon way – yeppers, he wasn't dead after all those years. Yay for fanfiction: where nothing makes sense. Ever.**

Breakfast was over and soon Albus went back up to the common room to get his things together. The book his dad sent him was coincidentally the textbook needed for Wigglesworth's class. As he was about to leave, a rumbling and a splintering of wood disrupted him. As Albus turned, he saw a house-elf wearing a miner hat climb out of a drill dozer.

"Pardon me Sir, but are you Albus Severus?" said the house-elf. "Yeah...and who are you?"

"I am Tynker, Sir. Tynker the House Elf. I am here to alert Albus of a dire situation-"

"What is it? I need to get to my class..."

"Well...,Master...may I call you Master?"

"Yeah..."

"Master... Gerard Butler won a Grammy for Best New Artist!"

"NOOOOOOOO!" shouted Albus. "...Wait a sec... WHAT?"

"Sorry, Master...I meant to say that...there is a BODY in the Shrieking Shack!"

"And how does this have anything to do with me going to class?"

"Well...hop in and I'll tell you," said the house-elf sharply. With caution, Albus clambered into the drill dozer, which magically fit both he and the elf. With a groan, the drill dozer found its way back into the tunnel it created, and soon Albus and Tynker were speeding along a damp and earthy passageway.

"Now then," said Tynker, "I am sure you know house-elves before meeting me, yes?"

Albus hesitated. What a chatty elf! he thought.

"Well, yeah...every holiday I go with my mum and dad to Grimmauld Place to spend time with Kreacher-"

"K-K-Kreacher? You know Kreacher?"

"Yeah..." Albus was amused at Tynker's reaction.

"He is a GOD among house-elves! The story of his heroics during the Battle of Hogwarts is still being sung by elven folk today!"

"OK..." This slightly freaked out Albi.

"Anyway," continued Tynker, "Tynker has alerted you about this body because it reminds Tynker of someone from the Battle of Hogwarts and Tynker thought Master Albus would care to see it..."

"Erm...OK, then. I guess this does sound sort of cool." A body? Cool! I'll totally tell Dad about this! Albus was starting to warm to Tynker; he may have been chatty, but something about him made him endearing.

A sudden crash stopped Al's train of thought. "Well...we're here. I'll wait here in case anything goes awry," said Tynker.

Al climbed out of the dozer and entered a dank passageway which led to a half-destroyed staircase which led into the Shack. He carefully climbed the stairs, which seemed to crumble ever so slightly when he stepped on them. Eventually he got to the inside of the Shack. Gray and forlorn, the Shack was empty, save for what Tynker had told Albi. A man's body lay in a pool of dried blood, eyes black as pitch, with long, greasy, black hair covering his face, which had a hooked nose like a hawk. A serious-looking gash on the side of his neck was coated in dried blood, which appeared to have been caused by snakebite.

Albi was curious, and wondering if the man was dead or merely unconscious, he went over to him and kicked him...many times.

"Wake up, wake up, wake up!" Al grunted impatiently, every kick accentuated with a repeat of 'wake up!' "What else to do..." Albus thought what to do, and eventually he resorted to using a trick he learned from his brother. He put his thumb to his nose, and waggled his four other fingers in a cocky manner. "Wikki wikki wikki! Wikki wikki wikki!" That seemed to do the trick, as the now-conscious man rolled over so he faced the boy and murmured something.

"What did you say?" Al leaned closer to the greasy-haired man.

"I'm not yet dead..." groaned the man. His voice sounded like Muggle actor Alan Rickman. His head looked up at Al's eyes, which brought back a memory in the man, and he uttered a scream, which Al returned.

"AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!"

"AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!"

(This went on for about 4 minutes.)

"M-m-mister...P-P-Potter? Is...that...you?"

"Well, I am a Potter. Albus S. Potter. And you are?"

"I am Professor Snape, Headmaster of Hogwarts School and former Potions Teacher and Head of Slytherin House. What's the S. stand for, boy?" Snape sound rather impatient.

"The S. stands for Severus, sir."

"S-S-S-Severus?" Snape was awestruck.

"Yeah. I'm named after a teacher from when my dad went here. Did you know him? His name is Harry James Potter-"

"Your dad...is...my old 'enemy?' Then...I guess it's pretty obvious that I'm your middle name's namesake. Anyway...how long was I asleep? I need to get back to heading the school. Is Voldemort dead? Are the Death Eaters gone?" Snape was being twitchy. He sounded like he hadn't gone to an anger management class in a long time.

"Yeah...they've been gone for 19 years now. And you can't be head now...we already have a headmaster. Come on...I better take you to the castle." Albus was awestruck. He was finally meeting his namesake, at long last.

"Alright, then. Hoist me up. For saving me, I award ten trillion house points to...what house are you in, Potter Jr.?"

"Gryffindor, sir."

"Then ten trillion points to Gryffindor!" This was out of character for the Half-Blood Prince. He never liked Gryffindors at all. He pondered the fact that the snakebite may have altered his personality, and slowly, with the aid of his new Gryffindor friend, was assisted down the stairs and towards Tynker and the waiting drill dozer.


	8. In Which Albi Nearly Gets To 3rd Base

**Oy. This (along with chapter Nine) are the two most Mary-Sue-riffic chapters I have ever written. Featuring 12-year-olds nearly having sex, pervy gay werewolves, and more quickly-abandoned plot points than you can shake the Elder Wand at, this chapter was probably written during the time I actually **_**liked**_** Twilight. …Yes, I liked Twilight once in my life. I regret those months. My time in the TwiTard fandom was mercifully short, thank Lord Rowling.**

By the time Professor Snape came back to Hogwarts, the student body was utterly shocked. "It's that Slytherin guy who tormented the Chosen One when he was here!" "That man has a very sexy voice. Isn't it just dreamy?" "Isn't that the guy from Die Hard?"

But nobody had as exuberant a reaction as Headmaster Byrndrom.

"Severus, I know you may be very confused and jumbled from that injury that left you in a magical coma so long ago, but by the time you've taught a few potions lessons in the stead of Horace, you'll feel right at home."

"All right then. If you need me, I'll be in my office acting like Alan Rickman."

"And I'll be in my office watching sketchy videos on WizTube! Ta-ta!"

"Albus Severus Potter! You are fashionably late to study hall! 20 points to Gryffindor!" said Thaddeus T. Wigglesworth as Albus ran into the classroom.

"We really aren't going to study today, so feel free to do what you want. Just don't touch the drawer next to the grandfather clock- that's where I keep my drugs and LGBT porn."

After taking a few breaths and staring at his teacher, Albus looked up at the eccentrically decorated chamber- the walls were painted a shimmery heliotrope, and posters of various sexy witches and wizards were push-pinned into the wall. Many chests of drawers were scattered around the room, some with drawers pulled out. Wigglesworth was sitting in a comfy-looking chair at a large computer desk, looking at something on his wizarding computer. As Albus sat down near his brother and Scorpius, who were sitting on a large, velveteen couch, James nudged him.

"So, what was the deal with Snapey? How did you convince him to come back without getting Crucio'd?" asked James, flashing a smile.

"Well... my middle name is his first name, and I look a lot like our dad...so, yeah, that's it."

"Hey, Al! How's the relationship with Polly going?" Scorpius butted in, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.

"Yeah, it's doing just fine. We snogged a couple times on Tuesday, and we went to lunch together yesterday..." Albus sighed. He couldn't believe how lucky he was- his dad didn't get a girlfriend until fifth year!

"Hey, guys! _Hi, Al_." Polly crooned as she waltzed into the room, sitting down next to her boyfriend. She definitely showed she had Metamorphmagus blood in her today, with her now-sage green hair in an elaborate ponytail and her now-tiger orange eyes glowing passionately.

"Hey, love," said Albus happily, and embraced her tightly.

"Oh great, she's another Lavender Brown-type... just like the stories my Uncle Ron tells us..." whispered James to Scorpius, and they high-fived as they watched Albus and Polly make out, with each kiss growing more passionate as they wrapped their arms around each other on the royal blue couch. Polly pulled the tie out of her hair, letting her green ringlets fall over their faces. Albi laughed, and soon they were going even farther, with Al eventually taking off his shirt and tie, Polly, her blouse; their tongues entering each other's mouths eagerly; and before they could hit next base (or Polly could unfasten her bra), a blinding flash of blue light enveloped them, and Wigglesworth stood over the snogging couple, smiling pervertedly.

"Yes! This will make a great WizTube video!" he said, and rushed back to his computer. Albus and Polly just shrugged, and resumed their romantic escapades.

All that night, Albus wrote a letter to his dad.

_Dear Dad,_

_Hogwarts has been fantastic- I actually have a girlfriend (her name is Polly Bressley) and we've made out multiple times. Just today in Wigglesworth's study hall we went to first base, with all the tongues and taking off our shirts and stuff-all in front of James- I bet he'll write to Uncle Ron about that. It was amazing- I've never felt so... euphoric in my whole life. Did you hear about Severus Snape coming back? It was all my doing, and it's a secret I'm keeping between him and me. So, yeah. How is Mum? Lily doing well? Give Remus a cuddle for me. Thanks for the book._

_Love, Albus._

As morning broke, Albus sent the letter with Hedwig II, his owl, and got dressed. He slept through Astronomy (which irritated Prof. D'Oracle immensely) and helped Prof. Snape with dishing out House Points. After lunch, Albus, along with Polly, whose hair was fire red today, headed to Wigglesworth's room. As they got to his room, Wigglesworth asked them to sit down, and promptly handed them each a piece of orange parchment.

"Now, I know you two lovebirds will be pleased to know that in a few weeks time, we will be having our Annual Halloween Ball, and I'd advise you to choose your dates soon, since Headmaster expects me, of all people, to deliver him a list of the couples, so he can seat them accordingly." Wigglesworth seemed stern today.

"Oh, Al, I'd love if you were my date to the Ball!" giggled Polly.

"I'd love it if you were my date to the Ball, Polly," replied Albus. They quickly wrote each other's names on the orange papers, and handed them to Wigglesworth, who thanked them and went to his computer.

"You're free the rest of class, so do whatever it is you two want."

At the sound of this, Albus and Polly were wrapped in each other's arms again, both with smiles on the inside, since their lips were already doing something else.


	9. Golden Orbs and Golden Moments

**Less of a Mary-Sue/Underage-Kids-Hitting-3rd-Base chapter than chapter Eight (Oh, much, much, **_**much**_** less so than Chapter Eight,) Chapter Nine features such Dea Ex Machinae as Harry Potter himself teaching children how to make Dark wizards explode with magical golden balls (I am not making this up) and parents jealous of their underage kids' romantic escapades. Enjoy.**

The next day was Albus' first Defense Against The Dark Arts class.

"So, who teaches DAtDA here?" questioned Albus to his brother and Scorpius. They were all walking to class together.

"Even I don't know, and I'm a second year!" replied James.

"Maybe it's a new teacher," said Scorpius, smirking.

Eventually, the threesome found the classroom. They opened the door and found-

"Dad!" squealed Albus.

Harry Potter, the Boy Who Lived, the Chosen One, the Savior of Hogwarts, Head of the Auror Department at the Ministry, was standing in the doorway of the classroom, brandishing his famous phoenix-holly wand and smiling. Even at age 37, he still was as handsome as he was 19 years earlier, with his jet black hair and pure green eyes shining in the light, his legendary scar still visible from under his messy bangs.

"Al! James! How nice to see you!" Harry said warmly, hugging his sons. "Hello, Scorpius. How is Gryffindor treating you?"

"Fine, sir," replied Scorpius calmly.

"Dad! What are you doing in our DAtDA classroom? Shouldn't you be at the Ministry fighting evil?" asked Albus, letting go of his father.

"Meh...Kingsley said I could take a few days off to teach you guys," replied Harry. "He said I needed a break anyway."

"That's fantastic, Dad!" said James, releasing his grip from his dad's torso.

"So, I guess we should get started. The rest of the class is here, so sit anywhere you'd like," said Harry.

The three boys sat down next to each other, and waited eagerly for their teacher, who happened to be the greatest wizard of the time, to begin.

"Now, then," started Harry, pulling out his wand and conjuring dummies for everyone to practice spells on, "today, we are going to learn a spell that I created for fighting dark wizards. This is not exactly a simple spell, but I am going to teach you the incantation. Repeat after me: _Auratus Pulsatio_!" Harry slashed at the air, and out of his wand burst a glowing golden orb of light. Harry pointed at a dummy and stabbed the air with his wand, and the orb blasted toward the dummy. When the orb made contact, it filled with golden light, and promptly fell to the floor, knocked out cold.

"Now you try," prompted Harry. Harry walked around the room and watched the students try his spell.

"Good, very good, Hugo." "Great form, Rose!" "Nice try, Polly." "Try a bit harder on the release, Scorpius."

Finally, he came to his two sons. "Go for it, James," said Harry.

James focused his eyes on the dummy, and slashed the air.

"_Auratus Pulsatio_!"

Harry watched joyfully as his son's golden orb charged into the dummy, and as the dummy fell to the floor, he patted his son on the back. "Fantastic, James!"

Now it was Albus' turn.

"Don't worry, Al. Just do the best you can," said Harry, and stood back to watch.

Albus nodded, and waved his wand with perfect precision.

"_Auratus Pulsatio_!" shouted Albus, and hurled the orb at the dummy with such power that when it hit, the dummy exploded, showering sparks of gold onto father and son. Harry rushed over to Albus and gave him a crushing hug.

"That was IMMACULATE, Albus, simply immaculate!" cried Harry, embracing his son tightly.

"Thanks, Dad," said Albus quietly, and broke the hug to run to Polly, who was sitting in the back of the room. Her hair was sage green again, her eyes a smoky blue.

"How'd I do, Polly?" asked Albus breathlessly, running up to Polly.

"Simply wonderful, Albi. I love you," whispered Polly, and kissed him in front of the whole class- and Albus' dad, who looked on admiringly.

_Al's got himself a girlfriend- that's so great! He's the best son anyone could have,_ thought Harry, and smiled, watching his son and Polly's embrace through his misty, black wire-frame glasses.


	10. Loss

**This. Now, **_**this**_** is where the fic picks up. I drop some bombshells, retcon a boatload of abandoned plot points and under-developed or obnoxious characters (here's to you, Miss Polaris Bressley,) and create some really emo tension in the life of Albus Severus Potter. I feel bad for poor li'l Albi, actually. I'm worried he'll grow up to be a bloodletting goffik vampire like Enoby from that travesty "My Immortal." But I don't intend for that to happen. Oh, and by the way, Chapter Eleven is the only Big-Lipped Alligator Moment/Crossover chapter in the fic. All I can say is that for Chapter Eleven, expect a Time Lord in the fireplace and a tame gay werewolf in the closet (let him out so he can breathe!)**

Albus woke up sweating on the forest floor. He had just had the most pleasant dream – something to do with his dad teaching at Hogwarts, something to do with Professor Snape… and oh, yes… kissing Polly's sweet face, her ringlets caressing his skin…

"Albi, you awake?" said a voice.

"Al?"

Albus blinked and looked around. Something smelled like it was burning, Professor Wigglesworth, James and Scorpius were looking at him as if eyeing a cadaver.

"What happened? Where am I?" Albus moaned.

Scorpius hugged Albus quickly – Albus noticed the trails of dried tears on his face.

"You're in the Forbidden Forest… we all are–"

"Neo-Death Eaters attacked the school…" interjected Wigglesworth.

"WHAT?"

"Neo-Death Eaters… like Muggle Neo-Nazis, but Death Eaters," explained James, sitting down.

"The castle got destroyed… we had to Side-Along Apparate out…"

"Where's Polly, Scorpius?" asked Albus weakly.

Scorpius looked uncomfortable.

"Where is she, Scorpius?"

Still no answer.

"WHERE THE BLOODY HELL IS MY GIRLFRIEND, SCORPIUS HYPERION MALFOY?"

Scorpius sat a little stiffer, and spoke.

"She's gone, Albus…"

"Wh..whaaaat?"

"She's dead… Neo-Death Eaters killed her."

"NO! HELL NO!" Albus roared. "WHO ELSE DID THEY KILL?"

James began to speak.

"Professor D'Oracle… Deputy Headmaster Strellestin… they're gone. Headmaster Byrndrom, Professor Snape and Professor Longbottom escaped to the Ministry. Our dad, Uncle Ron, and Minister Kingsley are taking care of them–"

"No… no… no…" Albus moved into a fetal position and began to rock back and forth.

"– but don't worry, we're going to go to a new school. Eventually," finished James.

"Will you come with us, Professor?" Albus looked at Wigglesworth, eyes shining with tears.

"Of course, Albus. I am your liason, after all…" Wigglesworth assured him.

"Where are the other students? Why did this happen? WHY?"

"They're in Hogsmeade, all rooming in the inns. I've reserved a room for the four of us at the Centaur's Den…your things have been Apparated there by the Ministry… grab my hands, all of you," urged Wigglesworth, "or I'll post some embarrassing things about you boys on FaceTome…"

Suddenly Albus felt the world spinning out of control; seconds later, he found himself lying on a bed in a cozy room in what must have been the Centaur's Den inn. Albus looked around his new lodgings, eyes immediately drawn to a fireplace crackling with green Floo fire –

"For easy travel between here and the Ministry," explained Wigglesworth.

"I've never been there before," said Albus quietly.

"Dad took me there once… it's really cool," said James.

Wigglesworth sat on the edge of the bed, in between Albus and Scorpius. He hugged all of them close.

"Trust me, I know things look bad. Truthfully, nothing has been half as devastating as today in the Wizarding World since the Battle of Hogwarts 19 years ago. But there is nothing to fear, my boys. As a great wizard once said, happiness can be found even in the darkest of times, when one only remembers to turn on the light."

"So... what do we do now, Professor?" asked Scorpius nervously.

"Go get some Butterbeer at the Three Broomsticks. I'll meet you down there in a bit. Go, take your mind off of the tragedy – it always helps."

As the boys left, Wigglesworth stayed at the edge of the bed. He stared into the fire intently, as if spirits from beyond the fire beckoned.


	11. A Time Lord In The Fireplace

**Oh, yes. The "Big Lipped Alligator Chapter." This was once posted as a one-shot crossover fic here on fanfiction dot net, but lack of reviews/views led me to remove it from the site. Here it is, again, for your reading pleasure. Enjoy the cameo, fellow Whovians. And yes, nearly everything in chapters 5 thru 9 was JUST A DREAM! Lol, it's terrible when one must resort to such drastic measures. But how else could one fix the abandoned characters and plot points otherwise?**

The sweet, sticky smell of butterbeer still clinging to their charred Hogwarts jackets, Albus, James, and Scorpius stumbled half-drunk into their inn room and fell onto the bed in a pile, landing with a thump on the professor's jacket. Professor Wigglesworth turned from the crackling fireplace to look at the boys, a brief distraction from three hour's worth of fire-staring.

"Enjoy your cold ones, boys?" said Wigglesworth. He absently returned his gaze to the fire.

The boys grumbled, incoherent yet audible despite being in a pile. With a sigh, Wigglesworth pulled his long, impressively polished wand out of his pants and raised it over his head, pointing at the pile of boys.

"_Dormiens_," he murmured, and noiselessly the boys fell asleep.

Wigglesworth returned his wand to his pants pocket, and resumed staring at the fire. The flames continued to crackle and dance in the fireplace as they had for hours now, Wigglesworth's eyes still on them, hawk-like; a cougar to its prey. Out of the clouds the full moon rose visibly through the misty windowpanes, catching his eyes, which quickly became bloodshot. Beads of sweat formed on his brow, his fingers dug into his thighs.

Suddenly, the fire changed from Floo green to a bright blue, then back again; a wind picked up, and a sound came from beyond the fire...

_"Vworp! Vworp! Vworp!" _

From nowhere, as if by Apparation, a blue Muggle police box landed in the inn room. The doors of the box flung open, and a young-looking man stepped out. He wore a tweed jacket, bracers, big leather boots, and a bow tie; his hair slightly rakish but still quite stylish. He pulled what looked like a metal wand with a light affixed to one end out of his jacket pocket and scanned the room with it. The general air of this man was of an eccentric old professor in a young man's body, but with a distinct, otherworldly sense about him. Wigglesworth, distracted from the fire by the arrival of this strange man, got up and walked over to him, a twitchiness about him.

"And who are you, may I ask?"

"I'm the Doctor," replied the stranger in tweed warmly, shaking the professor's hand.

"Doctor who?" asked Wigglesworth.

"And who might I have the pleasure of meeting this fine evening?" asked the Doctor, ignoring Wigglesworth's query.

"My name is Thaddeus T. Wigglesworth, former head of Gryffindor and Ravenclaw houses at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry and – what the HELL are you doing to my students?"

The Doctor had made his way over to the pile of sleeping boys and was using his wand-like apparatus on them.

"Just a bit of sonic screwdriving, that's all – just checking to see if these boys aren't dead."

Wigglesworth looked panicked; his eyes were turning. very bloodshot indeed.

"So you're here because of the Neo-Death Eater attack, are you? You some kind of Auror?"

"No, I'm a Time Lord." "A WHAT?" "It's a long story..."

Wigglesworth shook the Doctor violently. "Then what are you doing here?" shouted Wigglesworth. His eyes became slightly more bloodshot; his fingers trembled, his muscles tensed.

The Doctor wiped Wigglesworth's spit from his puzzled face. "I dunno, actually. TARDIS must've crashed here by mistake... where is here, exactly?" He looked at his watch. "Is this 19th century Liverpool? When are we, exactly?"

Wigglesworth shoved the Doctor back into the TARDIS, eyes now the color of smoldering flames.

"You're in Hogsmeade Village, 2016. Now get the hell away from my kids!" he roared.

"Well, you're a fiery soul, aren't ya? You should come aboard! Be a companion!"

"__ARRRGGGHHHRRROOOOOOOO!"

The Doctor's sonic screwdriver fell from his hand and his jaw dropped slightly: a howling Wigglesworth's clothes ripped off his now-furry skin; his eyes, now gold and cinnabar, flaring wildly.

With a laugh, the Doctor picked up his sonic and crossed his arms, chuckling.

"Well, string my buzuq and call me a werewolf, that's the strangest thing I've seen in a long time." He pulled a hunk of meat from one of his jacket pockets and offered it to the werewolf. Wiggleswerewolf sniffed it, then glomped it in one bite. Tamed rather easily, the Doctor noted. He was soon pushed to the ground again by the werewolf, who tackled him happily. The Doctor laughed merrily, patted the werewolf's head and stood up again.

"Good boy, Thaddeus. I guess this is goodbye for now. I hope to see you soon," said the Time Lord, closing the TARDIS door. As the Doctor closed the door, Wigglesworth whimpered. He didn't want his new friend to go.

The Doctor opened the door quickly, waved goodbye, and shut the door again. And with the most wonderful sound, the big blue box began to disappear.

With the TARDIS' departure, the room fell silent – save for the crackle of the fireplace and the happy panting of Thaddeus T. Wiggleswerewolf. Soon, he too fell silent with sleep, with moonlight and fire the only sources of light and sound left in the inn room.


	12. The Pyramids of Furmat

**And now, ladies and gentlemen, the first chapter of ASPOF written in 2011. Featuring an impromptu trip to the Ministry of Magic, the first mention of the Pyramids of Furmat, and a strange budding bromance, this chapter may go on in history as the best thing since sliced bread. Or it may not. Either way….**

**Enjoy, mon choux.**

The sun rose outside the window of the inn room. The pile of boys stirred as the beams of sunlight hit their sleeping faces, and got up groggily. Wigglesworth was fast asleep on the floor in front of the fireplace, which still crackled away. The boys were slightly puzzled by the fact that their teacher friend was on the floor, as well as the fact that he was nearly naked on a cold, stone floor. All Wigglesworth was wearing was a ivory linen towel wrap around his waist to preserve his modesty.

"What happened to him last night?" asked Albus, voice rather tired.

"Dunno," muttered Scorpius, "but whatever it was, it must have been quite the party."

"I bet it was a sexy party," joked James, "and all his werewolf boyfriends came over and had a shag –"

"Shut up, James," snapped Albus, annoyed at James' comic timing. "He's been sleeping for a while, that's all."

"Maybe we should wake him up," suggested James, "and we can ask him what happened while we were asleep."

"You guys go do that," said Albus. "I want to catch up on reading."

"Whatever," sighed Scorpius, and together he and James went over to Wigglesworth and began casting spells to wake him up.

As his friends did that, Albus sat on the edge of the bed, pulled his copy of _Magical Ritual Objects_ out of his satchel, and flipped it open. He hadn't read in a while, so he guessed that it would be better late than never to start his _required_ reading. He read for a while – he looked over at James and Scorpius, who must have realized that waking a sleeping lycanthrope is hard work: Wigglesworth still snored away on the floor.

The book was very interesting. One chapter dealt with the Philosophers' Stone; another with the amusingly named Mystic Kettle of Nackledirk. After getting about a quarter of the way through the book, he finally heard success on the waking-up-Wigglesworth front. Bookmarking his place on a chapter entitled 'The Pyramids of Furmat,' he stuffed the book back into his satchel – but not before Wigglesworth, who had at least pulled on some boxer briefs, snatched it right up.

"Aah, the Pyramids of Furmat! Very interesting, they are," said Thaddeus. "Take a look, why don't you?"

He turned the page to where the chapter truly began, then left to go to the loo to finish getting dressed. Albus saw a photograph the likes of which he had never seen before: it was moving, like all Wizarding photographs, but this one seemed to radiate an aura of another world. Three pyramids, made out of some sort of rock (or gemstone, perhaps) stood surrounded by a desert. Albus supposed this was just another picture of the Pyramids in Egypt, but a closer look revealed they were not surrounded by sand. The pyramids were surrounded by shallow water! Atop, each pyramid shot out a flare of energy, like magic crystals were inside the tips. Albus was intrigued by all this.

"Hey, James! Scorpius! Take a look at this!" he shouted to his friends. They scuttled over to see what the commotion was about.

"These are the Pyramids of Furmat," explained Albus, showing them the photograph.

"Huh," muttered James, "these look like they're in another dimension."

"Indeed, they do," said Scorpius, nodding.

"Indeed, they are," said Wigglesworth.

Wigglesworth, now fully dressed in a professional-looking sports coat, black jeans, a button-down shirt, and a bowtie, emerged from the loo, buzuq strapped to his back. He joined the boys on the edge of the bed.

"What do you mean, 'Indeed they are'?" asked Scorpius. He fidgeted with his charred Gryffindor tie nervously.

"They're in another dimension," replied Wigglesworth.

"I'm so confused right now," said James. He quickly changed the subject. "Why are you dressed like that?"

"Well, I want to look my best if I'm taking you boys to the Ministry."

"Will we get to see Dad?" asked Albus and James hopefully.

"We'll see, we'll see." Smiling, Wigglesworth lifted the boys off of the bed and led them toward the fireplace. He handed them a clump of Floo powder each, and stepped into the fireplace himself.

"Follow my lead," ordered Wigglesworth, who promptly dropped his handful of powder into the enchanted flames. "The Ministry of Magic, Auror Department!" With a flash of green fire, he was gone.

"I've never traveled by Floo before," whispered Albus nervously.

"Neither have I," admitted Scorpius.

"Aw, come on you two! I've done it. It's actually kinda fun!" James patted both of them on the backs, then stepped into the fire. Dropping his powder into the flames, he shouted "Ministry of Magic, Auror Department!" and he too was gone in a flash.

"Well, Albi, I'll meet you there!" said Scorpius with a sneaky sort of smile, and before Albus could say "you too," Scorpius pulled Albus to his lips and kssed him lightly. He let go after two seconds, and with a giggle, stepped into the fireplace. Albus was left in a dazed state of post-kiss catatonia as Scorpius plopped his Floo powder into the fire, announced "Ministry of Magic, Auror Department!" and disappeared.

_Did Scorpius just kiss me? _wondered Albus, _or was that all just a daydream? I'm so confused… did he just KISS me?_

He didn't have time to ask questions now. _Floo now, questions later._ Albus stepped warily into the fire, dropped the powder, said the words, and began to fly through FlooSpace. The whole time, Albus was thinking about how it didn't burn his feet when he stepped in the fire. He figured it wouldn't hurt. It was magic, after all…


End file.
